Beca Mitchell (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
pitchslapped) wrote2015-08-03 01:02 am
pitchslapped) wrote2015-08-03 01:02 am
Entry tags:
First date
It's ridiculous. She has no idea why she's so nervous.
Back at Barden, they'd never actually done this. Yeah, they'd gone out to dinner together, obviously, but they'd never really bothered dating. After that first kiss at Lincoln Center, they'd just sort of fallen into being together, completely. No awkward dinner dates required. Still, Jesse wants to start over, and Beca can see the wisdom in that. They both different people than the other one remembers. They need to figure each other out again.
She spent most of the day looking for a dress. Hopefully, he'll like this one. God. Why is she so nervous?
Back at Barden, they'd never actually done this. Yeah, they'd gone out to dinner together, obviously, but they'd never really bothered dating. After that first kiss at Lincoln Center, they'd just sort of fallen into being together, completely. No awkward dinner dates required. Still, Jesse wants to start over, and Beca can see the wisdom in that. They both different people than the other one remembers. They need to figure each other out again.
She spent most of the day looking for a dress. Hopefully, he'll like this one. God. Why is she so nervous?
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"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to lead you on. I wanted to kiss you and I knew you wanted me to kiss you but I didn't think about how that would make you feel," Jesse said. He could absolutely see how that was leading her on and something he should have talked about before he started kissing her like that while they were laying in bed.
"And hey," he said, stepping closer to her to reach out and take her hand. "I want to get to that place too, okay? I am committed to it and I am really looking forward to it. And I guess part of me is scared about how strongly I feel about you in such a short amount of time. I don't want to stop those feelings but part of me feels like I'm already being reckless."
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Part of Beca wants to throw up a wall, play the bitch, pull away from him. But this is Jesse and...she's never really been able to do that effectively has she?She sways in, pressing her face against his bare chest.
"This is so fucking horrible."
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'I know, I know it is," Jesse said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her close. He just wanted to hold her, like by doing so he could make everything okay again. It was impossible, the problems they had were bigger than anything he could fix, but that doesn't mean he couldn't help with some of them.
"But we're going to get better. Because we belong together and the way it gets less horrible is by being with each other. I don't know about you but that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make," he said, pulling back a bit so she could see him smile.
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She's going to cry again - she can feel it. This time she doesn't try to hide it from him, just ducking her head as tears roll down her cheek.
"Yeah. Yes."
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Jesse just held her there and let her cry, he knew that it was a big deal that she was being this open and vulnerable with him so he didn't say anything, instead just holding her while she would let him. He absolutely hated that it had come to this though, that he had made her cry.
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"I bet you don't want me to stay now, right?" She says, finally. "Now I'm a snotty, disgusting mess? You want to call me a cab now or just send me down to wait on the sidewalk?"
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"Yeah, the argument didn't put me off but you've got a little bit of a runny nose so I'm kicking you to the curb," he said, reaching up to wipe the tears away from her cheeks. The fact that she thought he wouldn't want her to stay stung a bit, but he knew she was just trying to protect herself. Fortunately he could do something about that.
"I still really want you to stay, Beca. And maybe tomorrow we should get some of your clothes to leave here? You know, for any other time you might want to fall asleep next to me."
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Beca doesn't say anything, but she does press her face against his chest and nod again, her arms tight around her waist. It isn't much, but she knows that he's trying.
And it definitely feels like a start.
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"Come on, let's get some sleep then," he said, reaching down to scoop her up in his arms. It was a ridiculous gesture but he wanted to keep her close. Carrying her to the bed he laid her down before getting in with her. Snuggling up he kissed her cheek before closing his eyes and resting his head on the pillow. It was going to be difficult and there were probably more arguments ahead but Jesse hoped that the worst one was behind them now. If they could fall asleep next to each other not everything could be awful.